Paige is off at her dads for her fortnightly weekend. These are always both a sigh of relief and a pang of sadness. I both miss her when she's away and enjoy the time off. I believe this is called bitter-sweet.
Lately though, the missing her almost always takes till around midday Saturday...
Don't get me wrong, I adore my daughter and would never part with her permanently, of course not! She is an awesome kid. I do enjoy the break and its been this way since she was one year old so I guess I am used to it.
See the twins spend a night away with my mum occasionally, usually when Paige is at her dads, and that gives us a REAL break, and we love these times, but I find myself a lot more likely to miss them than when Paige is at her dads. It's not because I love them any more or anything, I think its a combination of A) they don't leave me anything like as regularly, and B) they are younger.
Its often very hard as well though, having Paige so often out of the house, she not only goes every second weekend, she is gone every Wednesday as well, so getting any kind of consistent discipline program going is being constantly undermined, not because the other people she goes to aren't doing it, (although they probably aren't because we don't really talk about each households methods of discipline), but because she goes away from us and its hard to form the habit with it being interrupted so often.
When Paige was much younger, and before I had other children, I missed her like crazy from the second she went till the second she arrived home. As she gets older and more independent in some ways, though more difficult in others, I have a mixed up bunch of feelings over it all. This holidays were interesting, as, usually her weekend at dads falls on the central weekend, but this weekend it was the first weekend and the last weekend, and the paternal grandmother went on holidays meaning (due to her fathers work) Paige could not spend either Wednesday night there either. Add to that her new found pre-teen attitude, the twins birthday party, and the general hecticness of life regardless of holiday time or not (in fact holidays are a little MORE stressful as I have to locate babysitters to have Paige on workdays), and so, by Daddys weekend two (this one) I was GAGGING for the break, followed by school starting...
I have had some lovely times with Paige this holidays, don't get me wrong, her company is often delightful and her conversations increasingly intelligent. She is really fun to cuddle with and watch stuff on you tube, or draw with, or dance with. Or watch while she jumps on the tramp, or swings on the swing set, and makes up "tricks" to show me. She is a loving and generous little girl always ready to share with anyone and wanting to help (this can sometimes be more annoying than not). She is excellent at entertaining the twins, even if she does need some supervision with it, but at the same time, if I am not in the room she tries very hard to moderate any fighting that may break out. With some success I might add. When she hasn't got her pre-teen hat on, she is actually very well behaved, and generally wants to please us. As most kids do.
She also however, has a tendency to ask rather inane questions such as "why does Kaisey go to bed at night?" (this asked to Don as he attempted to leave for work the other morning) and whats for dinner (this after we have answered it ten minutes before) and one of my personal favourites: you wont leave without me eh? (as if we would). Now the first fifteen or so of these I might answer calmly and patiently, but the last 100 or so my patience begins to wear thin.
So this weekend, yes, I am not afraid to admit that I was glad to be rid of her for a couple of days. And I definitely enjoyed the ease of putting the kids to bed last night, when it was just the twins and they don't call out to procrastinate sleep very often yet (haven't figured out they can I don't think) and this morning I enjoyed that the twins cannot yet open the door to disturb me during my morning coffee and reading my book and cigarette. Nor can they answer me back yet, or bug me verbally for food, and generally once their needs are met I can choose to play some more with them or ignore them and do my own thing. Yes, I have enjoyed that.
About now, however, comes the missing. And I will be ecstatic to receive my big bundle of gorgeous, energetic, dramatic, loving and generous, and, yes, at times difficult and annoying Paige tomorrow evening when she comes home.
xx The Ramblings of Another Mother
No comments:
Post a Comment