Lol I believe that's called early excitement. For me, who is (yes I admit it) a very opinionated person, the idea that I can now air my views publicly and (reasonably) anonymously is extremely enticing. Although, while I am strong in my views, I do my very best to avoid judging other people, I try to explain how I feel without acting as if I expect them to adhere to that or believe the same as I do.
One thing I have a strong opinion on is the anti-smacking law which passed legislation in New Zealand a few years ago. I believe I am one of the few people who supported it whole heartedly. And still do.
As far as I am aware, the main reason for passing this law was to dis-allow offending abusive guardians from getting away with it. I have heard over the years of extreme cases where a loop-hole in the previous laws were used through which abusers of children leapt out of trouble. In one case I heard of a woman beat her son repeatedly with a 2X4 piece of wood and broke both his legs, she must have had some cracking good and ethically challenged lawyer because she got off as she somehow convinced the courts this was "reasonable force".
Now I have not read the law, I am not a lawyer or a law student, or anything. But everything I read and heard about this law when it was being discussed as possible legislation sounded to me like it was protecting children from further harm. These little people that make up a good 35% of our population and have no real voice of their own, they have adults who speak for them. And so they should, they are children, and cannot really function at an adult level. What they need most is someone (or in my opinion) many someones, that have done their absolute best to understand their needs from their perspective and bring them to the adult table. This law to me sounds like adults doing their best to protect childrens rights. The right to be safe.
Many I have spoken to about my feelings over this have said, its prosecuting normal parents, just for using normal discipline methods. And its not going to stop the ones that are abusing. Maybe not, but its a good start. I believe if one adult that would have abused a child thinks about the new prosecution they might face and stops, and finds help. Then the whole thing was worth it wasn't it. That's one less abused child in a country where a child is killed by abuse every 5 weeks. That's ten children a year. Ten children too many. As to the other, that its prosecuting normal parents. The worst I have heard so far (apart from that guy in Christchurch who twacked his kid on the ear, and I'm not convinced the media didn't turn him into an underdog) is the parents get sentenced to anger management and parenting courses.
Big deal. Parenting is so tough I would (personally) jump at the chance to get more ideas and more methods of dealing with the little devils that are over running my life on a daily basis! Although I'm not about to walk into a police station and smack my child to get it :-P
The next step, now that the law is in place and we have (pretty much) accepted it, is parenting support. And for struggling parents to not feel ashamed to ask for help. I know there is amazing work happening all over this country reaching out to parents with little support and little resources. But I also know there is a stigma of weakness attributed to anyone in this country who admits they are struggling. This saddens me immensely. How many people are even turning this help away and trying to make out they are fine? I know I have been guilty of it in the past. The worst part of that is eventually people stop offering.
Its a hard job parenting, and while I would NEVER condone abusing any child, I can see how easy it would be to lose it and go too far, if you do not have anywhere else you think you can go or any idea how to handle the incredibly strong feelings that rise up inside you just at the sight of these little beings that rely entirely on you for survival - thats the scariest thing in the whole damn world. And then they scream. And scream, and scream and you don't know why. And we lose it.
I guess the "perfect" parent, to me, is one that knows their limitations, and is not ashamed of them. Just three words and (particularly for kiwis) the hardest in the world.
I NEED HELP
Finally I have a question. If the media had taken the law and called it "The Child Protection Act" instead of "The Anti-Smacking Law" would you have supported it? Interesting what words can do isn't it?
xx the ramblings of another mother.
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