Hi, My name is Jess, and I am a lazy-arsed mother.

Yes I admit it. Sometimes my house is very clean and tidy and organised, but most of the time it is not. I have now mastered the art at making it "presentable" in fifteen minutes, which basically means, all the toys are shoved back into the toy corner, all the clutter is hidden somewhere and the dishes are stacked neatly, and the clothes that would normally litter my house are in the laundry. But the "cleaning" side of my house is only done weekly.

Sometimes, I get up and give the twins a meusli bar for breakfast, because I cant be bothered making them toast. Sometimes I don't do the dishes every day, and sometimes I don't vacuum for an entire week. Yes, sometimes I even dress the twins in what I want them to wear the next day - for bed. Sometimes I don't bath my kids.

Yes, I admit it. Sometimes you can't see my living room floor. And sometimes there is so much washing in the laundry that I worry about everyone running out of clean clothes. Sometimes Paige doesn't have a clean uniform for school. Sometimes I forget it is mufti day and I send her to school in her uniform. Thankfully SHE usually remembers it is mufti day. Sometimes I am searching through the clean laundry to find clothes for everyone to wear, because I haven't folded it.

Sometimes I forget to pay for things at Paiges school like shows and trips until the last minute. Sometimes I get to naptime on my days off and instead of doing housework I sit down. Sometimes I don't clean the toilet for two days in a row. Sometimes I get to work-days and sit in a big messy house that stares at me and makes me feel guilty.

Yes. I am a lazy-arsed mother. I sacrifice doing everything perfectly so I can hang out with my kids. I sacrifice doing everything perfectly so I get some re-charge time and don't go completely insane. I sacrifice doing everything perfectly because I am human.

That's not an excuse. That's a fact. I am a human being, inside me I have all these weird things called "feelings" and "needs" and if they are not acknowledged and soothed then yes, I lose it.

Those are the days I am grouchy from when I wake up until I go to bed. And on those days I take shortcuts. I lay on the floor and let my kids climb on me for "quality time" because it requires the least amount of energy. I feed them out of cans for dinner and I might even forget to brush their teeth. I find the shortest story possible to read to them and yes, I admit it, sometimes I tell Paige its 7:00 at 6:30 because I can't handle another minute of parenting.

Yes, I admit it. I am at times, a lazy-arsed mother.

xx The Ramblings of Another Mother