Recently we had a child development team come to investigate Banky-Boos slow start to walking... while I was assured she was normal (which I already knew) in the letter I received about the visit it mentioned that BankyBoo and CheekyLala have completely different play styles, and therefore it would be unfair to compare.
That was it. No elaboration on that statement. I was left with a feeling of "What does that mean?" What are the different styles of play, does that mean that I need to support that in different ways? If so, HOW? This has gotten me into an observation mode, my analytical brain tick tick ticking.
Sure I already KNEW they had different styles of play, they are completely different children, with completely different interests. One of the ways I know this is actually THROUGH comparison.
Bankyboo is a thinker, she enjoys imaginative play more that any other type. She is less likely to need validation for this, and is more likely to remain contented in her corner. She loves movement style play like dancing and physical touch. She is more likely to relax into a cuddle. She enjoys baby dolls and playing near or with her sister. Shes quiet and rarely babbles, but is usually very clear when she does speak. While she has a sweet temperament and tantrums less often, but when she tantrums it can last a long time. She is quicker to anger than her sister. While she can solve problems she is more likely to get bored and move onto something else. She likes staying near her "people". She undresses herself.
Cheekylala is a doer, she wants to KNOW everything and she wants us to tell her so she can learn it. She is more dependant than her sister, not needing her own space as much and rarely straying far from me. She loves puzzles, problem solving type play like "posting" and building. She is a chatterbox and wanders about the house calling whoever is in her head at that moment. She is a babbler. She is more likely to tantrum when things don't go her way, but gets over it quickly. Shes a problem solver. But she does not undress herself. She is more likely to have "accidents", being physically adventurous.
They both misbehave to get attention, and they both love watching tv! They both like to "help" mummy or daddy.
Its kind of interesting setting it all out like that.... its almost like they (God, the powers that be, genetics, whatever you call it) took two people and separated the personality's and then kinda patch worked it back together into twins.
This morning we read a book about insects and Cheekylala was able to label almost all of them, and the two she didn't know, she wanted me to repeat the name several times then on a second read she was able to label them. Her sister, standing next to us reading the same book parroted the names and knew a few, but lost interest quickly and moved on.
Later this morning we played with the Duplo and spent a long time learning the colours. Bankyboo was immediately on my knee, while Cheekylala was content to sit near us to play. While Bankyboo would repeat the colours after I said them, she was not interested in engaging in a colour search with me, while Cheekylala happily piled all the red blocks together, then the blue etc. Bankyboo wanted to build. We had a great time making little buildings of blocks and then banging them down and it was really interesting for me to watch.
I have seen this in other areas too, while drawing together, Cheekylala wants me to draw objects and letters so she can study them, and gets very angry when I tell her to try, while Bankyboo will snatch the crayon off me to draw herself.
Bankyboo is more likely to use several colours during drawing and Cheeklylala rarely switches colours, making me think she is more interested in the shapes.
They are both keenly intelligent, Cheekylala is what I believe slightly more analytical and Bankyboo is a little more practical. Air vs. earth.
They are both definitely girls! We have shoes all over the house. They are very keen on having a say in what clothes they wear and quite decisive about it. Though they have yet to take on any particular style. Ending up with interesting mismatched outfits.
I struggle to find ways to play with Bankyboo as she is quite independent, and often not interested in engaging with me in play. But she will come and lean into me for cuddles. Her temperament is closer to her fathers and he understands her better. I feel like a dreadful mother admitting such a thing but it is true. I adore all my children equally, but differently. They are different children.
I am struggling to find any information for the everyday person about styles of play and what that means. A Google search took me to many psychology studies, most of which I need to belong to the website or pay for to read. I intend to have a good peruse through my old university textbooks later to see what I can find. Such a thing is impossible with two toddlers underfoot! I have trouble setting my mind to reading university textbooks in a quiet moment let alone with toddlers climbing all over me!!
In the meantime I do know that all my children feel loved and supported, and in no way do I try and make them into something they are not. But at the same time I wish to discover the different "Playstyles" and what that requires of me the parent.
xx The Rambling of Another Mother
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