Wednesday, 16 November 2011

Slacker!! with a blah day.

I feel like such a slacker when I look at other peoples blogs... I am not really all that consistent at this. I also write novquarteels most of the time and I am sure thats not all that appealing to most people, but never mind. It interests me and hopefully the odd other person out there gets value from it.

I have had a blah day.

It started late... I woke up at about quarter to seven to twins yelling in their cots and I thought "2 minutes please girls" and next thing I know its 8... they must have gone quiet cos I don't sleep through them. At least I hope I don't. Its kinda funny when people say "I don't sleep through things" Cos how would they know? They would have been asleep at the time - surely?

Although I am pretty sure I never sleep through the kids.

Anyway's so I get up, change them, feed them blah blah, just feeling really despondent... just blah, not in the mood for anything.

Feel like having a long cry.

The girls were grouchy. I dont know if thats cos I was or if they would have been anyways.

We went to the local library for rhyme time which is usually a highlight of the week but today they were little tantruming things and made me feel very embarrassed and I was rather glad when it was over.

Then we had to go to an appointment, and while we were there a couple of young guys had a rather loud and frightening fistfight outside the doors. During which a young woman got caught in the crossfire and knocked down, spilling everything from her bag all over the pavement.

And then we had to leave. I felt very small and frightened. I am not used to seeing fighting on the street. That is just not something that happens in the neighbourhood we live in. I was standing there with a toddler on each side thinking, I dont want to walk to my car. We are only small. If anything happens theres only me with these children.

As it happened, the fighting people had cleared off so we got to the car without incident.

Today is a thankful for good friends day. I got home to one of my closest friends waiting in my driveway and felt very blessed.

After a nice long gossip the afternoon was over, and it was time to get Rockchick from school.

I'm very grateful to my friend for taking my mind off my mood. And I will be grateful when my husband gets home. My husband is one of the few people on the planet that really understands these moods I get in and accepts me. And loves me anyway.

Mostly I will be grateful at bedtime. Goodnight world.

xx The Ramblings of Another Mother.

Monday, 14 November 2011

Play Styles in Pre-school Children.

Recently we had a child development team come to investigate Banky-Boos slow start to walking... while I was assured she was normal (which I already knew) in the letter I received about the visit it mentioned that BankyBoo and CheekyLala have completely different play styles, and therefore it would be unfair to compare.

That was it. No elaboration on that statement. I was left with a feeling of "What does that mean?" What are the different styles of play, does that mean that I need to support that in different ways? If so, HOW? This has gotten me into an observation mode, my analytical brain tick tick ticking.

Sure I already KNEW they had different styles of play, they are completely different children, with completely different interests. One of the ways I know this is actually THROUGH comparison.

Bankyboo is a thinker, she enjoys imaginative play more that any other type. She is less likely to need validation for this, and is more likely to remain contented in her corner. She loves movement style play like dancing and physical touch. She is more likely to relax into a cuddle. She enjoys baby dolls and playing near or with her sister. Shes quiet and rarely babbles, but is usually very clear when she does speak. While she has a sweet temperament and tantrums less often, but when she tantrums it can last a long time. She is quicker to anger than her sister. While she can solve problems she is more likely to get bored and move onto something else. She likes staying near her "people". She undresses herself.

Cheekylala is a doer, she wants to KNOW everything and she wants us to tell her so she can learn it. She is more dependant than her sister, not needing her own space as much and rarely straying far from me. She loves puzzles, problem solving type play like "posting" and building. She is a chatterbox and wanders about the house calling whoever is in her head at that moment. She is a babbler. She is more likely to tantrum when things don't go her way, but gets over it quickly. Shes a problem solver. But she does not undress herself. She is more likely to have "accidents", being physically adventurous.

They both misbehave to get attention, and they both love watching tv! They both like to "help" mummy or daddy.

Its kind of interesting setting it all out like that.... its almost like they (God, the powers that be, genetics, whatever you call it) took two people and separated the personality's and then kinda patch worked it back together into twins.

This morning we read a book about insects and Cheekylala was able to label almost all of them, and the two she didn't know, she wanted me to repeat the name several times then on a second read she was able to label them. Her sister, standing next to us reading the same book parroted the names and knew a few, but lost interest quickly and moved on.

Later this morning we played with the Duplo and spent a long time learning the colours. Bankyboo was immediately on my knee, while Cheekylala was content to sit near us to play. While Bankyboo would repeat the colours after I said them, she was not interested in engaging in a colour search with me, while Cheekylala happily piled all the red blocks together, then the blue etc. Bankyboo wanted to build. We had a great time making little buildings of blocks and then banging them down and it was really interesting for me to watch.

I have seen this in other areas too, while drawing together, Cheekylala wants me to draw objects and letters so she can study them, and gets very angry when I tell her to try, while Bankyboo will snatch the crayon off me to draw herself.

Bankyboo is more likely to use several colours during drawing and Cheeklylala rarely switches colours, making me think she is more interested in the shapes.

They are both keenly intelligent, Cheekylala is what I believe slightly more analytical and Bankyboo is a little more practical. Air vs. earth.

They are both definitely girls! We have shoes all over the house. They are very keen on having a say in what clothes they wear and quite decisive about it. Though they have yet to take on any particular style. Ending up with interesting mismatched outfits.

I struggle to find ways to play with Bankyboo as she is quite independent, and often not interested in engaging with me in play. But she will come and lean into me for cuddles. Her temperament is closer to her fathers and he understands her better. I feel like a dreadful mother admitting such a thing but it is true. I adore all my children equally, but differently. They are different children.

I am struggling to find any information for the everyday person about styles of play and what that means. A Google search took me to many psychology studies, most of which I need to belong to the website or pay for to read. I intend to have a good peruse through my old university textbooks later to see what I can find. Such a thing is impossible with two toddlers underfoot! I have trouble setting my mind to reading university textbooks in a quiet moment let alone with toddlers climbing all over me!!

In the meantime I do know that all my children feel loved and supported, and in no way do I try and make them into something they are not. But at the same time I wish to discover the different "Playstyles" and what that requires of me the parent.

xx The Rambling of Another Mother